Domestic Blitz
by Can't Stand Deathly Hallows
Summary: What are the most important traits to ensure success in battle? Does a duelist need training, experience or a motive to win? Perhaps the most important thing is love and a willingness to win against all odds...


_We not own Harry Potter. Although we would like to be able to claim Books 1-6 and make money off of them, we would like it to be indisputably known that we would never wish our names to be in any way related to, tied to, or associated with the illogical farce that is entited "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows."_

This drabble is a part of the R.U.I.N.S: Can't Stand Deathly Hallows drabble project over on FictionAlley. To read more drabbles or for more information on the drabble project, please visit our author's profile page.

* * *

"NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!"

Mrs. Weasley threw off her cloak as she ran, freeing her arms. Bellatrix spun on the spot, roaring with laughter at the sight of her new challenger.

"OUT OF MY WAY!" shouted Mrs. Weasley to the three girls.

Ginny balked, "…but, Mum! You don't know how to duel!"

"You just WATCH ME!" Molly's eyes blazed with righteous indignation as she rolled up her sleeves, "I'M A FRIGHTENED MOTHER, WHICH MEANS I MUST HAVE SUPERPOWERS!"

With a swipe of her wand she began to duel. Harry watched with terror and elation as her wand slashed and twirled, and Bellatrix Lestrange's smile faltered and became a snarl.

"How are you dueling like this?" she growled, "By all accounts, you're just an average, run-of-the-mill housewife!"

"There's no canon evidence that I never practiced dueling!" Molly retorted, twirling her wand like a drumstick. "For all the readers know, I was the top seed in Dueling Club when I was a student!"

Jets of light flew from both wands, the floor around the witches' feet became hot and cracked; both women were fighting to kill. Molly, of course, had yet to even break into a sweat, and her hair was still perfectly in place.

At the increased intensity, Ginny decided that she just couldn't stay silent any longer. "_…but Mum…_ There's also no canon evidence that you did practice dueling!"

Ron nodded his head in agreement, "Yeah, Mum, and if you'd been at the top of your Dueling Club, why didn't I make a reference to it when I was joining Dueling Club back in second year? I had the opportunity!"

Harry found it hard to hear the Weasleys' words over the low roar of the crowd, whose volume was continually rising in intensity, their faces flickering constantly with the reflected glow of the curses raining forth from the dueling witches' wands. It seemed that Harry's surprise at Mrs. Weasley's fighting prowess was shared by the general populace...

_"Did you know she could fight like that?"_

_"Wow, that Avada Kedavra almost clipped Bellatrix! That Weasley woman is amazing!"_

Harry strained his ears and was able to catch the tail end of Ron's latest bit of logic, " — the fact that you've never been in any other battle ever is any indication, I'd say there's more proof than none that you don't know what you're doing!"

This overwhelming bit of circumstantial evidence was the last straw for many observers, and many people ran forward to help the inexperienced mother.

"No!" Mrs. Weasley cried as the few students ran forward, trying to come to her aid. "Get back! _Get back!_ She is mine!"

Ginny huffed in exasperation – her fiery disposition just couldn't handle all this sitting around doing nothing! "Mum, Ron and I have been in loads more battles than you've ever been in!"

But her mother would hear none of it, "Ginevra Weasley! I am using my motherly adrenaline to save you, even if adrenaline normally doesn't last this long!"

Ron, apparently, had a bit of a chip on his shoulder about the subject, and had retired from the field in favor of muttering to himself, "Sure, mum comes to _Ginny's_ rescue ... 'NOT MY DAUGHTER,' she says ... fights the most feared Death Eater with ease ... but where was she when I was attacked by brains? Or the next year? But I'm only one of six sons, it's not like _I'm_ special, is it?"

Hermione, ever the voice of reason, decided to risk the Weasley matriarch's anger – and another too small Easter egg – to speak up, "Mrs. Weasley, you've known about every battle we've ever been in! If you're such a great duelist, why did you sit at home and send everyone else to the Department of Mysteries in fifth year? Why weren't you helping during the first battle here at Hogwarts last year? Why haven't you been fighting the whole time tonight?"

"I _have_ been fighting this whole battle!" Mrs. Weasley threw her wand up in the air, did a cartwheel, and was upright in time to catch her wand deftly above her head. "There's no proof I haven't!"

"Actually, Mum, there is," Ron declared meekly. "Only a few sentences ago the book said that you just now threw off your cloak and freed your arms…How could you have been fighting earlier if your arms weren't free? Why didn't you throw off your cloak earlier if you were fighting then?"

It sounded like Mrs. Weasley might have some explaining to do, to both her family - who were wondering why she hadn't turned up to protect them in fights against the Death Eaters before - and the Order, who were angrily muttering phrases such as "not pulling her weight" ... "cowardice in the face of the enemy" and "we could have found a cook _anywhere_, but with her on the front lines Moody and others might have been saved".

Hundreds of people now lined the walls, but none of them stepped forward to help Mrs. Weasley. Even Ron and Ginny were reluctant to ruin Jo's brilliant feel good moment by helping their inexperienced mother win a duel against a professional terrorist. No matter what evidence they had that their mother should, by canonical evidence, be killed immediately.

"What will happen to your children when I've killed you?" taunted Bellatrix, as mad as her master, capering as Molly's curses danced around her. "When Mummy's gone the same way as Freddie?"

"You – will – never – touch – our – children – again!" screamed Mrs. Weasley.

"And I expect _you're_ the one with the right to say so?" hundreds of heads swiveled around to see who else had joined the conversation.

Augusta Longbottom was standing at the edge of the crowd, her anger causing bright sparks to shoot from the tip of her wand. "It's _my_ boy that's insane! My boy and his wife!"

"And my parents!" Neville brandished his wand. "That bitch took away my parents! Any normalcy I might have had! She took away any self-esteem they might have given me, any confidence in my own abilities! My mum doesn't even know who I am! She gives me bubblegum wrappers, for pity's sake! Bloody _wrappers_!"

Hermione, who had been nodding along sympathetically, spoke up once more, "Honestly, Mrs. Weasley, Neville's been set up for this confrontation for the whole series now!"

Mrs. Longbottom cut in, "And Rowling made a point of mentioning how powerful I am twice in this book! She wouldn't have done that for no reason! Lestrange is _ours_! Mine and Neville's!"

"She _threatened_ my daughter!" Molly insisted. "My daughter who, even though she has more experience than me and had the bitch outnumbered with two other equally experienced witches, clearly needed my help! I'm doing just fine on my own!"

"… Oh, sure, she threatened Ginny _once_… She's threatened me tons of times… And how about all the other times I've been threatened by _other_ Death Eaters… Never saw Mum come to the rescue with the rest of the Order, did we? She sat at home and waited for news, didn't she? ..." Ron's disgusted utterances continued in the background.

Mrs. Weasley was right, of course. She _had _been holding her own against Bellatrix rather well, despite all canon evidence to show that it should have gone otherwise…

Still, even though Mrs. Weasley had been admirably holding Bellatrix at bay for all this time – long seconds which passed as eons in duelling terms – Harry really thought he ought to do something. After all, Bellatrix was Voldemort's favored and most vicious Death Eater, who had in the past tortured Neville's two auror parents into insanity and killed Sirius and numerous others. Only a few hours ago he'd witness her drop Greyback and the other three snatchers, four against one, with trivial effort. Mrs. Weasley, for all of her hidden talents, was still in deadly danger... there was little chance that Bellatrix would repeat the same mistake Sirius had and underestimate her opponent!

Bellatrix laughed. Who did this normal, average housewife think she was to be able to kill _her_, the Dark Lord's first lieutenant?

Molly's curse soared through the air, directly towards Bellatrix's chest. Bellatrix, experienced as she was, was easily able to deflect the curse back towards its caster. Unfortunately for Molly, her motherly adrenaline had finally run out – she was lucky it lasted long enough for the floor the crack in the first place – and she was unable to react quickly enough to dodge it or shield herself.

Her gleaming, anger-filled eyes seemed to bulge: For the tiniest space of time she knew what had happened, and then she toppled, and the watching crowd roared, and Ron and Ginny screamed.

Augusta Longbottom was leaping up and down, "HA! There, you see?! She should have left it to those of us with experience and a backstory!"

Harry, however, just couldn't let this go! His instincts told him that this just wasn't right! He threw off his cloak, green eyes blazing, "Now you look here, Bellatrix Lestrange! This is supposed to be a feel good moment of Molly's mommy love defeating your perverted love for Voldemort. Jo's had this feel good moment planned for…I don't know…at least a few pages by now! It doesn't matter that Molly has never been said to have experience, never showed up for a fight before now, never been shown doing any spells other than domestic ones, and was defeated by a boggart any third year could defeat! Because Jo wanted her to kill you! Clearly Mrs. Weasley isn't good enough just because she's dedicated her entire life to her family. She also needs to have this shining moment in battle or else clearly no one will think she's a respectable character!"

Neville was being held back by many members of the crowd, who apparently cared more about him than they had about Molly Weasley despite the fact that Neville had actually proven himself capable. That didn't stop him from screaming out at the women who'd torn apart his family, "DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU'RE MEANT TO LIVE AFTER ALL YOU'VE DONE?!?!"

Bellatrix stopped gloating for a moment as she considered this revelation. Finally, after several moments of serious contemplation, she had to agree that superficial imagery and authorial whim was much more important than logic or continuity. And she supposed it would be much less painful to die by inexperienced housewife than meet her demise at the hands of a vengeance-seeking mother and son who had already proven themselves as worthy warriors.

"But how are we supposed to fix it?"

Harry rolled his eyes. Wasn't it obvious?! Was he the only one privy to the Authorial Intent Hotline?

… Well, maybe it was much like the Dark Lord Mental Broadcast Network? Maybe it was one of those special advantages Jo needed him to have so he could win this war even though he had no particular talent or power of his own?

At just that moment, the sound of the backspace button could be heard. Molly was lifted off the ground and placed back on her feet, angry gleaming eyes restored to their previous glare. Soon enough, everything was in place for the scene to be written how it clearly should have been written, logic be damned:

_Molly's curse soared beneath Bellatrix's outstretched arm and hit her squarely in the chest, directly over her heart. _

All was silent for long seconds.

Then Ron's disgusted voice could be heard ringing out over the crowd, "_AS! IF!_ What were the chances that Bellatrix would allow herself to be killed in exactly the same humiliating way that she'd used against her cousin just two books ago?!"

Ginny, fiery red hair blowing in the non-existent breeze, was glaring at her brother. "Would you have rather Mum died?!"

And Ron couldn't argue with that, even if the woman clearly didn't think all that much about him. What did it matter that previous canon had been cleanly circumvented for no good reason once again in order to save his (biased) mum from a logical death? Would it even matter - would anyone even notice - the lack of logic and plot consistency, the circumvention of common sense, with one more superficial scene added to all the others that the readers had seen so far? Particularly given the doozy that was coming up in just a few more pages?

* * *

Written by **kmh8 **and **Brad**. Check out the profile page for more drabbles by them and by other authors, and keep checking back since we post new drabbles regularly.

_This story is based on a real-life plot hole from "Deathly Hallows." If you would like more information on this plot hole, or any other plot holes or related problems, please feel free to peruse our "Can't Stand Deathly Hallows" thread (more details of which are on our author's profile page). Be forewarned that you must be willing to dedicate untold amounts of time to reading through our posts, since there are so many problems in "Deathly Hallows" that we are still finding new ones each and every day. We will not be held responsible for eyestrain, carpal tunnel syndrome, headaches, tears, or any cases of severe depression you might have after reading our thread._


End file.
